Not a rant, a request

[fluffyllama]

Today I caught myself rolling my eyes as I scrolled past someone enthusiastically promoting their latest OTP, and I hate that. I'm in no position to judge a complete stranger's reasons for choosing what interests them, and I don't like it when people want to tell everyone what they *should* be writing. I do, however, think it's good to question my own preferences and assumptions when I see people bring up neglected characters/pairings/genres or whatever.

So the questioning is what this is about, though it's about a use of words.

Spoons.

I don't like using the term myself, as it makes me feel labelled sick. (My brain, sometimes it makes no sense.) So maybe I notice it more, I don't know. I think it's great for its original purpose, and I like that people know what it means, and when I see people use it about themselves I assume they have a good reason to do so.

But if your post is along the lines of 'I did a full day of work and omg long hours and overtime too, ran a marathon at lunchtime, cured cancer in my coffee break, and astronaut training tonight was soooo tough and I was going to finish that fic update you're waiting for tonight but I'm sorry I have no spoons left'... then maybe consider that it might not be the most appropriate phrase to use.

Everything is relative, but really. You're allowed to be tired after all that. And needless to say, I'm jealous of the astronaut training. *g*

Comments

[pauraque]

I think what might be happening is that there are people who actually don't know what the word means. They see others using it and gather from the context that it means "energy", and so they start using it too, not realizing that it specifically means "the limited energy of a person with disabilities".

Incidentally, walgesang and I have a problem where our actual, literal spoons keep disappearing. Like, we look in the drawer in the kitchen, and a particular spoon that should be there is gone. If we were characters in a novel, this symbolism would be way, way too on the nose. :P

Popping in from /network

[jackandahat]

I really, really dislike people stealing the spoons analogy. I have this "It's not FOR you, that's the whole point!" reaction. I've done 18 hour days, back when I could, I know what it's like to collapse into bed and not want to so much as blink because you're so tired through hard work...

...but that's not what "spoons" is about.

I think part of what makes me twitchy is that able-bodied people stealing it feels like when they insist they know just what it's like for me to use a cane every day because they were on crutches for a few weeks back in high school. Or they had a migraine once, so they know how bad I feel (mine are once a week or more). It feels like people assuming things, and taking over, and minimising our experience.

And I want to smack their knuckles with a wooden spoon. *nods*

[bethbethbeth]

I'm with you. Not indignantly opposed to the word, but still...with you. I thought the metaphor was interesting when I first heard it, but yeah...until my chronic arthritis started getting to the "am I going to be able to get out of bed to go to work today?" stage, I never would have considered using it just when I had a tiring day.