fluffyllama: a fluffyllama drawing on green and blue (Default)
[personal profile] fluffyllama
Today I caught myself rolling my eyes as I scrolled past someone enthusiastically promoting their latest OTP, and I hate that. I'm in no position to judge a complete stranger's reasons for choosing what interests them, and I don't like it when people want to tell everyone what they *should* be writing. I do, however, think it's good to question my own preferences and assumptions when I see people bring up neglected characters/pairings/genres or whatever.

So the questioning is what this is about, though it's about a use of words.

Spoons.

I don't like using the term myself, as it makes me feel labelled sick. (My brain, sometimes it makes no sense.) So maybe I notice it more, I don't know. I think it's great for its original purpose, and I like that people know what it means, and when I see people use it about themselves I assume they have a good reason to do so.

But if your post is along the lines of 'I did a full day of work and omg long hours and overtime too, ran a marathon at lunchtime, cured cancer in my coffee break, and astronaut training tonight was soooo tough and I was going to finish that fic update you're waiting for tonight but I'm sorry I have no spoons left'... then maybe consider that it might not be the most appropriate phrase to use.

Everything is relative, but really. You're allowed to be tired after all that. And needless to say, I'm jealous of the astronaut training. *g*

Popping in from /network

Date: 2010-09-05 10:01 pm (UTC)
jackandahat: A brown otter, no text. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jackandahat
I really, really dislike people stealing the spoons analogy. I have this "It's not FOR you, that's the whole point!" reaction. I've done 18 hour days, back when I could, I know what it's like to collapse into bed and not want to so much as blink because you're so tired through hard work...

...but that's not what "spoons" is about.

I think part of what makes me twitchy is that able-bodied people stealing it feels like when they insist they know just what it's like for me to use a cane every day because they were on crutches for a few weeks back in high school. Or they had a migraine once, so they know how bad I feel (mine are once a week or more). It feels like people assuming things, and taking over, and minimising our experience.

And I want to smack their knuckles with a wooden spoon. *nods*

Re: Popping in from /network

Date: 2010-09-05 10:26 pm (UTC)
jackandahat: A brown otter, no text. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jackandahat
Yeah - unless you know someone, you don't know if they are disabled or not. Part of the problem I had getting diagnosed was that one week I could be competition riding, the next I needed a cane to get out of bed. So I wouldn't call someone out unless I knew from their own words they aren't disabled. If I'm hmming, I tend to namedrop ButYouDontLookSick.com and see what the reaction is.

And yeah - I absolutely understand that everyone has tired days, but. And that's the problem, because they don't understand it's not the same for everyone. When I started having health issues I was doing some music stuff, and I had someone go "But why are you dropping out? You don't sing with your knee." No, I don't, but not being able to breathe through the pain is slightly relevant...

Re: Popping in from /network

Date: 2010-09-06 06:43 am (UTC)
jackandahat: A brown otter, no text. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jackandahat
What do you mean you don't have /network? *Is confused* And nope, I don't mind - I call it adding, apparently we don't call it "friending" any more, but I still refer to my flist, so.... it's all good!

And yeah - I've had arguments with people asking how long they've been me for. Because frankly, I've been me pretty much 24/7 since 1986. There was a small moment in 1992 where I had a bad reaction to medication and thought I was a cat, but otherwise, I've had a lot of practice at being me.

And that's the other thing - people saying you're being negative. I would like to find and beat the person who came up with "There's no such thing as can't!" Overly cheery little [censored]. There are many such things as can't. I hate people saying "can't" when they mean "don't wanna" - for crying out loud, own your choices! - but when I say can't, I mean it to a reasonable degree.

Re: Popping in from /network

Date: 2010-09-06 03:15 pm (UTC)
jackandahat: A brown otter, no text. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jackandahat
Oh! I didn't know that - sorry, I didn't hear about it until I had a paid account, so I didn't realise.

And yeah, that's the kind of thing that makes me want to kneecap people. See how they feel about it then.

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